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miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago

Man Arrested For Pooping on Opossum in Public

lakelandgazette.info

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Man Arrested For Pooping on Opossum in Public

lakelandgazette.info

miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago
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THIS is definitely one of those times. This man was arrested this time for pooping on a dead opossum on a street during rush hour traffic. The police report obtained described the scene of the crime
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  • Bonus@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    *Florida Man

    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      I guess the only reason the headline doesn’t specify is that it is a Florida local news site

      • Bonus@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, and it took way too long to figure that out on my part.

  • Nate@piefed.alphapuggle.dev
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    2 months ago

    I thought this was a free country?

    • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

  • Manjushri@piefed.social
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    2 months ago

    Why is this site pretending this is a new story? It happened in 2023 .

    • rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social
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      2 months ago

      For whatever reason the source article doesn’t convey this. Although having just typed my thoughts, I realize you by “this site” you probably mean the source here. Maybe someone local knows more about that “news” source?

      • Manjushri@piefed.social
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, in retrospect, I guess I wasn’t very clear there, was I.

        • rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social
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          2 months ago

          I think you were clear enough, I am just used to folks not reading and the reference you made meaning “here” but in this case I was not reading 🫣

  • Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social
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    2 months ago

    It’s Florida, isn’t it? I don’t even have to open the link to know that this is in Florida.

    • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Didn’t want to read the article. Wanted to see what state it was.

  • x4740N@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Opossum should’ve castrated him and remove him from the gene pool

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    2 months ago

    The crime? Exposing his anus in public. They didn’t even charge him for littering? Is public defecation not a crime there?

    • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Assuming this is Florida, it’s not like he read a book or something, he merely pooped on a dead animal. They had to charge with something.

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Florida is a literal swamp shit hole, so no.

  • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    All of you shaming and poking fun at this guy… Like we haven’t all been there before.

    • Sundray@lemmus.org
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      2 months ago

      Exactly, let he who has a clean possum throw the first… well.

    • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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      At least I had enough courage to crap on a wolverine.

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Not possums. We all did squirrels in college. Sure, a few raccoons…

  • treadful@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    You really can do anything with your life.

  • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Guess how many articles there are when you click the tag.

  • over_clox@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Are they sure the opossum was dead? I’ve literally seen one play dead for over a week on the side of the road before…

    With that said, I have never felt the urge to defecate on roadkill…

    • Illegalmexicant@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      You pee on an ant bed and 6 months later you are defecating on road kill

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        2 months ago

        Gateway toilet.

        • AxExRx@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          If the possum turns out to be live, it may become a gateway bidet.

      • over_clox@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        You’re right, let me go mark the calendar…

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Because you aren’t Secretary of Health.

    • Archangel1313@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      This is the most efficient way of testing whether or not it’s a ruse. Everyone in Florida knows this.

  • Tony Bark@pawb.social
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    2 months ago

  • Lembot_0004@discuss.online
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    1 month ago

    deleted by creator

  • Maeve@kbin.earth
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    2 months ago

    Picking…

  • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 months ago

    Ah, my enemy.

  • answersplease77@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

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