Heh *cough* That’s a pretty good impression of us.
*cough cough, holds out disposable coffee cup fished from the trash* Got any spare healthcare? I promise I’m gonna use it for drugs!

Just add an “In media” section

It obviously says ChanWhistle

YouTube prank video: Getting a job illegally in America for insurance to see how quickly I die from denied medical claims

I also use your eyes

Filled with fish

Ow, my… Judaism? Idk, can I have some too? I’ll share my gala apples.

But I need my expensive autocomplete to tell me how to fix this water crisis!

Get your shit together, Sun!

Wow, finally doxxed yourself as The Blue Raja

Did he make enough for the entire class? Where’s mine???

Atari game programmed to know chess moves: knight to B4

Chat-GPT: many Redditors have credited Chesster A. Pawnington with inventing the game when he chased the queen across the palace before crushing the king with a castle tower. Then he became the king and created his own queen by playing “The Twist” and “Let’s Twist Again” at the same time.

Change “PE teacher” to “stack of health magazines” and it’s a more accurate equivalence.

*Frantically Googling “How to tell if good foam or bad foam is coming from your mouth”*

And that’s why, as a solution to addiction, I always run sudo rm -rf ~/* in my terminal

I think I’m allergic to meth, do you think I should avoid taking a little meth?

You don’t look so good… Here, try some meth—that always perks you right up. Sobriety? Oh, sure, if you want a solution that takes a long time, but don’t you wanna feel better now???

Guarantee you that you’re giving them too much credit by assuming they’re trying to prevent terrorism. They need someone with the ability and capacity to make sure the militias get the assistance they need.

Dear lemm.ee and the wonderful admin,

I’m sad to see you go, but thank you, sincerely, for being the springboard that allowed me to dive into the refreshing waters of Lemmy.

Stay golden, pony boy

“Wait… You’re telling me your grandfather originally built this?”

“Yes. Well, he built a hot rod kit car and I tried fixing it but then realized the wiring harnesses were perfect for stepper motors and couldn’t help but notice how flat the floorboards were and…”