If you haven’t I recommend reading a few books on management even if you have zero interest in going down that path. It will give you more perspective on what you should be expecting from your manager, which in turn should in turn be what you talk about during 1-on-1s. I like The Manager’s Path by Camille Fournier, though it could use more focus on the ‘why’ instead of the ‘how’.
The best manager I had used a shared private document, where he would dump important points and expected you to add bullets as things came up during the week. This “you drive the conversation” is a good approach and one I intend to use in the future.
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What’s really going on. A good manager should be aware people are inclined to present things as rosier than they are.
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Anything you are unhappy with. They should be fighting to keep you around, and how happy you are is a key piece. The sooner they know something is wrong, the easier they can (potentially) deal with it.
- I’m planning a career shift into an EM role, and plan on simply being upfront about the Gallup 12 points (actually 13+4). They shouldn’t confine themselves to them, but if a report is ever unhappy about any of them then I absolutely want to talk about it.
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What resources you don’t have that you need to succeed.
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What ideas you have for initiatives. New projects, tweaks to reduce pain points, so on.
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Things from Above that you should be aware of.
This is already said, but it cannot be too emphasized: This is not your fault. This is entirely on them. Three months is far too short to evaluate someone even if they were secretly unhappy with your performance. It might be worth talking to an employment lawyer, but likely you’ll have to take this on the chin. In the immortal words of the great Captain Picard: “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”
As everyone has said, you can expect to get questions about it, and I would definitely have a prepared, rehearsed statement. Some recruiters and hiring managers make a big deal about these sort of things, some won’t even care. Again: this is not your fault and do not be apologetic about it.
Five weeks is not a lot of time to get a new software job, even in a hot market. This is the unfortunate reality and I would start making contingency plans. If living in NYC remains a goal, then this is a setback but a far smaller one than it may seem right now. You don’t have a mortgage or a family hanging over your head. Moving back to NYC will be in play, likely sooner than you think.
Spending time on career development is a good idea. Something with a firm outcome like AWS Solutions Architect is also good. I have the associate certification which I started working on while at Amazon. It hasn’t really done much for me, but I’m not seeking positions where it would hold much weight.