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Joined 2 months ago
Cake day: July 1st, 2025
  • Petter1@discuss.tchncs.detoParenting@lemmy.world•Parenting is just relentless
    3·
    27 days ago

    ❤️ I agree 100%

    My girlfriend is stressed out all the time, especially when our son has holiday from school/kindergarten (right in transition from kindergarten to school right now) and I do all I can to support her, and got burned out as well 3 months ago

    Next month, I will reduce to 70% and she starts to stop working for a organisation that more and more turns to shit as they did a restructuring and have now a management only caring about numbers.

    It should work out financially as, from kindergarten to school, we have to pay less for child caring institutions, that made it possible to continue her profession (she is gold smith teacher)

    Luckily she can work now again for the person where she did the apprenticeship (she had a very good time there) and can possibly take over the buisness when her mentor retires ☺️

    I know that we are lucky having such Options, and it make me sad thinking about all the other people not having such options

    🫶🏻you do a great job 👏 Keep on it, it is hard, and way to less people see that

    ❤️you can do it 💪🏻

    (I and my son are neurodivergent, so that complicates stuff even more 🤣)

  • Petter1@discuss.tchncs.detoParenting@lemmy.world•Parenting is just relentless
    32·
    27 days ago

    I just read the complete answer generated by gpt again, and think it hit the nail exactly…

    Main reason: Cities were designed for 2 adult families, because people (or better said men, as this whole idea is masculine thinking (women can do parenting alone and male get money ideology)) in power thought that is the most efficient way.

    The whole framework was designed for such way of living: Small houses for such style of families, laws designed for such families etc.

    I now switch to blame patriarchy for us being in this situation we are now. Like, ignorant men, which don’t see how the women in such families do like 200% of work compared to what males do in the “traditional family” setup as conservative people would say.
    I bet most women rising kids and do housework are burnt out but just continue anyway and have no one helping them.

    Here the full generated answer of GPT:

    The normalization of raising children in small nuclear families—typically two adults with their own children—emerged through a complex mix of historical, economic, and cultural developments. Here’s a breakdown of how we got here:

    ⸻

    1. Historical Shifts in Family Structures • Pre-industrial societies often relied on extended families or even whole communities to raise children. This was practical: labor was shared, knowledge was passed down, and child-rearing was distributed. • With the industrial revolution (18th–19th century), people moved from rural areas to cities for work. Extended families were often left behind, and the nuclear family—parents and their children—became the norm in urban settings.

    ⸻

    1. Economic Forces • Wage labor and housing costs in industrialized societies made smaller households more economically viable. • Mobility—people began to move more for jobs, education, or opportunity, further separating families from their kin networks.

    ⸻

    1. Cultural Ideals and Western Individualism • In many Western societies, values like independence, privacy, and self-reliance became dominant. • The nuclear family became associated with progress, modernity, and even moral virtue. • Media and government policy in the 20th century (especially post-WWII) idealized the two-parent, stay-at-home-mom family unit—often ignoring other models.

    ⸻

    1. Government and Policy Influences • Housing, tax, and social welfare systems were designed with the nuclear family in mind (e.g., tax breaks for married couples, single-family homes). • In contrast, communal or extended family living was sometimes discouraged or seen as backward or inefficient.

    ⸻

    1. Decline of Traditional Community Structures • Secularization and urbanization often reduced reliance on religious or community institutions for child-rearing support. • The loss of “the village” that once helped raise a child created an isolating environment for many parents.

    ⸻

    1. Modern Consequences • This model can be overwhelming and isolating for parents and insufficient for kids, especially when both parents work. • In response, some are rethinking this setup: forming co-housing communities, reconnecting with extended families, or relying more on childcare networks.

    ⸻

    TL;DR:

    We ended up here largely due to industrialization, urban migration, economic shifts, and cultural values that promoted independence and privacy. But this model isn’t universal or necessarily optimal—many are now questioning and challenging it.

    Would you like to explore alternative family or child-rearing models from around the world or history?