"UPDATE table_name SET w = $1, x = $2, z = $4 WHERE y = $3 RETURNING *",
does not do the same as
"UPDATE table_name SET w = $1, x = $2, y = $3, z = $4 RETURNING *",
It's 2 am and my mind blanked out the WHERE, and just wanted the numbers neatly in order of 1234.
idiot.
FML.
I watched someone make this mistake during a screen share, she hit execute and I screamed "wait! You forgot the where!" Fortunately, it was such a huge database that SQL spun for a moment I guess deciding how it was going to do it before actually doing it, she was able to cancel it and ran a couple checks to confirm it hadn't actually changed anything yet. I don't think anything computer related has ever gotten my adrenaline going like that before or since