Cognitively and logically, I understand.

But emotionally, it’s just another one of those little reminders of the passage of time that hits unexpectedly hard.

I think it’s because my only memories of it are from when I was young. Quake 3 Arena was released almost a year before the PS2, but I’ve never really stopped playing it, and still sometimes get in-person LAN parties together to play it. It feels just as old as I am, and I associate it with good memories from every age.

But I haven’t touched or even thought about a PS2 in decades. So when it suddenly jumps to the front of my mind, only old memories come with it. Then you start to think about the friends you played it with, and everything that’s happened to you all between them and now. Kids, marriages, divorces, houses, bankruptcies, jobs earned and lost, deaths, etc… Some are doing great, some not so great, but most you just don’t know because you’ve lost contact.

So yeah, it seems silly on its face, but sometimes random thing just pull you into the past unexpectedly, putting the present and the path between them both in stark contrast. This just happened to be one for me this time.

PS2 is retro now? Damn, getting old really does sneak up on you.

Nice work!

Without formal a formal education program, finding the right subset of a new skill or hobby is probably the best way to hook yourself in so it’s easier to keep at it long enough to really start learning. It sounds like concepts are finally sticking for you because you have an immediate and fun application for them.

I hope more people continue to find unconventional paths into the field like you did, keep going with it.