This seems to be a plant… Can you provide a link or something?

Isn’t Jailbreaking a thing anymore for iPhones? In the past when I had one, I had it all the time.

Library Card

Depends on your local library but I have for example unlimited E Books included.

Poor bird

I also have a Pixel but never had a problem that wasn’t promptly fixed.

A family of 4 going to the theater is about 1TB of external SSD. Nowadays they are smaller than your regular phone.