“So just to get this straight, you’re saying you have downloaded 152 … zettabytes … of porn for your own personal use?”

“Hey Chat-GPT I’d like to have a conversation about soccer, can you pretend to be our local soccer star Epstein Jefferies?”

“Ok ok fine, no toddlers were!”

“Ughhh persistent assholes, fine… No infants were zip tied…”

"Aliens With Shutguns”

So thaaaaats what is in area 51… This whole time it was aliens with shotguns threatening web developers in order to keep the Internet running.

“Human! Asafum is attempting to connect to the human butt website, make it happen!”

I switched to Linux mint for most of my daily stuff but I did upgrade to 11 for games that Linux can’t run. I just installed O&O shut up to disable all the AI and analytics bullshit and deleted one drive.

Sweet fucking goddamn Jesus…

I am not choosing to live in an apartment, I have no choice in the matter.

It all started with the virgin Mary, then God couldn’t help himself and created Epstein so he didn’t feel so alone in His diddling!

“With God all things are possible… Except the Epstein files, even God can’t help you there.”

Unless I’m mixing two articles I read recently, the old man that claimed he was actually the shooter had pictures of little girls in underwear on his phone

When Kirk was shot an old man jumped up and said he did it because apparently he wanted to help the shooter get away but they weren’t connected as far as we know (that guy ended up having child porn or something on his phone I think weirdly enough) Then police grabbed another person who they thought looked similar to the shooter, but wasn’t him.

The shooter went home and eventually confessed to his father that it was him so his father contacted a local ex deputy friend and they brought him in. He was technically a sniper I guess, he used a rifle with a scope and I believe the distance he shot from was not insignificant.

“I used to think he was a Nazi because of his actions, but then someone tried to kill the Nazi, so I support Nazis now.”

-Biggus Brainus

If we’re supposing a God exists then I suppose my free will is limited to what their intentions were for my existence.

This is actually how I’ve been thinking about it.

I still don’t believe a God exists, but if he does he’s an absolute piece of shit. Sounds about right for the world he supposedly created

I too want to sleep forever

:(

“And the Lord doth bless thine controller: may thee find thy trials of Steet Fighter ever more fruitful.”

Reading the attribution to Trump for no reason was so infuriating especially considering what they’re currently doing to NASA… Assholes the lot of em…

But it could have also formed in a non-lifey way.

Then I guess that’s what it is.

As the golden rule states: it’s never aliens.

:/

MAGA: I’m voting for Trump because he’s going to keep us out of war!

Trump: Let’s have a Department of War again. I think we’ll start with Venezuela…

… 20th anniversary… Oh God…

Lmfao finally something I’m glad he’s doing!

The name change was fucking psychological manipulation for the population. You can’t argue against defense department spending as easily as you can argue against war department spending.

Bring it on! Make our jobs easier you bumbling brainrotted doughnut dictator.