It’s the only ethical choice. Gotta protect them from all that sugar.

This is sarcasm mixed with a bit of truth. The “parent tax” on my kids candy really is quite high to keep them from getting sick in any year with particularly generous neighbors.

I work hard for this, I want you to know that.

My wifes dad said her dad would take all their candy bars that had nuts and chocolate. I was like WTF!