Came up with this during the two days I mistakenly tried to start a new career.
i looove this idea. its just the perfect amount of absurd and utility
The real absurdity is that I’m pretty sure this exists somehow. One of the neighborhoods I knocked had a lot of very similar “No Soliciting” signs…
“Do you hate being bothered just like this when you’re at home trying to relax??? Have I got a product for you!!! If you purchase just FIVE of my no soliciting signs today, I promise to leave now and never speak to you again! We have a 100% proven success rate!”
Isn’t there a term for this? like extortion ?
Protection racket
Oh ya racketeering might be the word I was looking for.
“You pay me, no one else will bother you, capice?”
The mob invented subscription services.
That would be a great side hustle for Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Mormons too! This idea might not be so bad after all…
Isn’t this Spotify and their ads?
Exactly, except we provide an actually useful service. In the age of every Tom, Dick, and Harry trying to sell you a “subscription” under the guise of “IoT”, isn’t it better to just tell those solar/HVAC/Spectrum people to just fuck off?
How better to do that than one of my shiny new “No Soliciting” signs? I guarantee (30-day warranty) that these beautiful enameled signs will tell the best of door-to-door salespeople, “Not today. Not on my lawn. Certainly not on my porch!”
I know what you’re saying, “Couldn’t I just make the sign myself?” Yes, you could, and it would make total sense to do so, if we lived in the 50s. These days, you need a service, that will be there 24/7. You might say, doesn’t my already existing security service already do that?" To that I say, “Yes!” Our service is basically taking the load off the security system, by providing a signature piece of lawn statement, that tells certain people that they’re not welcome. Perfect for Karens!
