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Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I’m haunted by your Starfleet bodysheen

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Did props enhance your Vulcan silhouette scene?

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Your catsuit fit like warp core light

With no support in plainest sight

And every week I’d watch and stare

At angles broadcast everywhere

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They said that Vulcans don’t feel shame

But still I wondered all the same

Was there some silicone beneath?

Or was it just the room’s AC?

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Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Did costume tech enhance what we have seen?

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Were those effects… or real beneath that green?

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I’ve scrolled through posts and freeze-frames too

Each theory has its loyal crew

Some claim it’s all just natural

Some blame the lighting on the hull

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The forums flame, the memers fight

Did someone chill that set at night?

Or were those subtle, sculpted fakes

To boost those Thursday Nielsen takes?

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Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I’m not obsessed—just nerdy and quite keen

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please answer us… was padding in the scene?